“You’re an idiot,”says Judy.

She’s right. I am an idiot. Once again I have fallen for the words, instead of the actions.

Some examples:

“You can ride Magic.” vs. She forgets the appointment, over and over and over again.

“Sunny’s my baby!” vs. He hasn’t clapped eyes on him for months.

“I love you and miss you.” vs. He’s in town and doesn’t get around to visiting me.

“I so look forward to these meetings.” vs. 99% tardiness, for years.

I have squandered a lot of time and energy believing people’s words vs. their actions. It has taken me a long time to figure out that to most folks, words are only meaningless sounds in the air.

But words have power. In the beginning was the Word, or so some believe.

Yesterday, before going to Sunny’s vet appointment, I wrote down: Sunny is healthy.

Guess what? He is. Skinny, with iffy teeth, but basically healthy. Hallelujah.

But my words also get me in trouble. When I give my word that I’ll do something, I do it, come hell or high water.

Guess what? Most things aren’t worth hell or high water. I have been the exhausted victim of my own self-imposed deadlines. Relax, why don’tcha!

Once, I dragged my bronchitis-whipped ass down to a public computer space to finish the work I started for a client on my private computer before it conked out on me. Call her and tell her I’m sick? Nosiree! Dead and on time, was my motto. Deadlines had power.

No more. Nyet. Nem. No. My poor body has suffered enough, run ragged by a dictatorial mind.

Time to rest.
This idiot has seen the light. And it’s gorgeous.

Light, by Elizabeth Shé, prismacolor marker on paper, 2016
Light, by Elizabeth Shé, prismacolor marker on paper, 2016